The days when the kids are having one meltdown after another and I'm trying to cook dinner, clean the kitchen, and tend to their cries at the same time, but I am handling every moment with a calm head and warm heart, are the days when I feel really proud of myself for being a good mom. Moments like that remind me of my mom. I knew my mom loved me, but to my young self I thought being a good mom was being good at your "job." Our house was clean, she made yummy food, and we were happy. Good mom.
Obviously, moms do lots of things, but I am grateful that my mom cared about basic homemaking skills and could simultaneously keep her cool. She is a good example to me. I never understood the unconditional love that comes with motherhood when I was a child. Now that I do, I know there is more to being a mom than cooking and cleaning, but I also know those things are important. I knew my mom loved me because she took care of me. Now that I have kids of my own, I know I'll love them no matter what, but because of my own experience, I know they'll feel that love when I take care of them.
I don't look down on all those posts about ditching the housework to spend time with your kids or praising Martha over Mary. Those days are needed. I'm just saying that cooking and cleaning shows love too, and it doesn't go unnoticed.